My Gilded Cage: A Reverse Poem

I cannot identify the woman in the mirror
You will never hear me say that
I am confident
The increasing thrum of my heartbeat.
Do you hear that?
I am driven by the anxiety clawing at my heels.
I am done being a fool, let’s not mistakenly think
there is hope perched in the soul.
let the echoes in my head tear me apart.
I refuse to
pick myself off the ground and try again
The solution is to
exist as someone else
I should stop trying to
embrace my own company,
give in to the itch for solitude
Instead, I should
hide in bars, behind bottles.
Rush out into the night
try to blend into the world
I am tired of hearing people say
this too shall pass.
Chin up and breathe, love
It throws me off, making me reconsider.
“You are stronger than your depression”
No! Wipe that off.
There is proof of sadness lingering upon my cheek.
Continued to be haunted by memories of my past.
This is me.

Unless I choose to reverse it.